Fear and Worry

You know, I am for the most part a pretty mellow guy, I think. For the past couple of years, a person that I allowed to speak into my heart made the comment that I was emotionless and like a robot because I didn't respond in an "emotional" manner when things went south. I've been doing some thinking about this recently and have realized why I have the outlook on life that I do. Even in the midst of most of the junk in my childhood, I was calm, cool and collective. Most of the people in my church had no idea what I was going through. For whatever reason, God has placed a lack of fear and a sense of calm in my heart that allows me to just flow through life with the understanding that He is in control and worrying about really won't amount to much anyway (Phil 4:6-7). I just hope that I am able to continue living my life totally dependent on Christ.

I've been facing what most would consider financial hardships for the last eight months, but as I've continued to examine my life and the lives of those around me, I've realized that even though I've had to watch how my money is spent, I've always had enough to sustain me. Do we really need anymore than that? Why do we save and follow sound financial counsel? It's all gonna burn eventually anyway, right? I had originally planned to be saving for the next four years and purchase a house once I've been able to rectify my credit situation and save up enough money for a sizable down payment. But I wonder now if I should not just be content with where I am and take that money, with which I've been blessed, and pour it back out to someone else that needs it more than I.

I've been listening to a series on the end times by Francis Chan the past couple of weeks. It amazes me how most 'Christians' are afraid when they read Revelation or study the end times. Should it not bring us joy and confidence? Should we not focus our minds on the lives we have coming and allow our hearts to give freely to those around us now so that they may see the love of Christ displayed to them?

I'm not perfect in remaining at peace during troubled times. I probably went through some of the hardest four months from June to September of last year. I think that it was completely ok and natural for me to experience the emotion and pain that I did. Thankfully, I am blessed with two of the best friends in the world and I can honestly say that if it were not for Eric and Beth Wehmeyer, I would not be sitting here writing this note right now. Thank you guys and I love the two of you with all that I am. I hope that I am able to display the love of Christ to others even a minuscule amount compared to the love the two of you have poured out on me over the last year.

For a final note, I will leave with a scripture that motivates the way in which I TRY to live:

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and sound mind."
--2 Timothy 1:7

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