Crazy Love

You'll have to excuse the randomness in the first part of this as it's random pieces from Chap 6 of Crazy Love by Francis Chan.

John Piper once asked that if we could have heaven without sickness or poverty and all your friends and family with all the greatest activities and pleasures, but no Jesus, could you be satisfied? Why do so few people genuinely find joy and pleasure in their relationship with God? Why do most people feel they have to either pay God back for all He's done (buy His love) or somehow keep making up for all their inadequacies and failures (prove their love)? "Jesus didn't die only to save us from hell; He also died to save us from our bondage to sin." When we love, we're free. We don't have to worry about a burdensome load of commandments, because when we're loving, we can't sin. When Christ said in John 10:10 that He desired us to have "life to the full," He didn't mean the future. He meant NOW! We need God to help us truly love Him, how much more to love each other? God needs nothing from us, and yet He still desires us.

It makes me feel guilty deep inside when I think about my answer to that first question. Because if I am truly honest with myself, my answer would be probably. I think the answer lies in the next two questions. Recently, I haven't found joy in my relationship with Christ, and it's felt more like a chore to do the right thing. But I think this all stems from a skewed perspective on my part. I tend to look at what I'm no supposed to do rather than the one thing that I was called to do: love.

Daddy, give me a love for You again. I'm sorry that my heart has hardened to You. I need You to change me. I don't want to try to earn this back anymore. Show me what it means to just run after You. I don't understand why some things have happened the way that they have, but give me the strength to keep living life because sometimes it feels like too much. I love you.

Your Son,
J