Life between the Mountains

The hard times in life....
Why is it that we as a society hate a challenge? Why do we insist on running away or refusing to do something when it doesn't work for us the first time exactly the way we wanted it to? I have to admit that I've fallen into this trap many times, but I would like to think that I'm able to endure a bit of punishment to see things through. Perhaps this is because I had no choice growing up what I went through: the abuse from my step dad, the ridicule from kids at school, the self doubt because my dad decided to not stick around, the lack of a true identity...the list grows on and on, yet here I am. I don't really understand why I am the way that I am and how I can have to outlook on life that I do except that I choose it.....but why?

Everyone likes the mountaintops...the beauty, the majesty, and the accomplishment. But living up there for too long can hurt you, even kill you. Ever noticed how in real life that almost no vegetation grows up there, very few cultures ever live at the summits of mountains? It's down in the valleys where life truly grows, where the plants and animals flourish. Sure it can be difficult and treacherous, but if you survive...the rewards are amazing. But that still brings me back to my former question. Why do some of us choose to take our situations and become better while others use them as excuses for poor decisions? Is there something within me that others don't have? Is it my faith? That question stumps me as well because I see those who have been through troubles and those who have lived fairly sheltered lives and are Christians yet still are some of the most pessimistic people I know. Ever worked in a restaurant on a Sunday afternoon after church? It's sad to say that as a whole, the 'body of Christ' are some of the most ungrateful, unappreciative people that the workers in food hospitality will ever meet.

My life right now is probably at one of its most difficult stages because again I am faced with many challenges for which I wasn't prepared. I've lived through at least three divorces but that still doesn't prepare you for the self doubt and self blame that you experience. I am in the valley and I know it...so my only logical response would be to figure out a way for me to grow and survive. I think it is this mindset that allows me to forgive and have empathy so easily (though that is something I struggled with for a long time towards at least one person in my life). It is so frustrating, yet at the same time so exciting that every question is answered with yet another question. I don't know if I'll ever have answers to these burning queries of my heart and perhaps that's the way it's meant to be....perhaps not.